We Salute You In Your Grave
by Adrenaline-Threat Rebellion
Summary: When Frank dies from drug addiction, Frank's soul is lost in the Spirit Plane, and keeps in touch with Gerard. Thats is until they bury Frank's body. Gerard has to stop this from happening if he wants to keep talking to Frank.
1. 1  The Amount Of Pills I'm Taking

**I'd like to credit Kamiie aka JetBlack_Danger for co-writing this story, which started out as simple role-play chat.**

**Love, KenZ aka AdrenalineVenom xxx**

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><p>Mikey awoke to a loud banging on his door. He sat up in bed and rubbed his eyes. <em>Great, <em>he thought as he saw the clock read 3:42am. The banging continued. It also woke Mikey's roommate and a really close friend, Vivian. She walked up to the door with Mikey. He opened the door.

Their eyes widened as they saw who stood in them. The guy had blood dripping down his face, and his eyes were red. His name was...

'Frankie?' Vivian asked, shocked.

'My God' Mikey was equally shocked.

Frank looked around, confused. 'Guys. Where. The. Fuck. Am. I?' he asked. He smelled of Whiskeys and... Cocaine.

Vivian scrunched her nose. 'You're drunk?'

'Whe- where is my house?' Frank asked, still confused.

Vivian looked at Mikey and blinked. She then turned to Frank 'You can stay here overnight, until you clear.'

'I could give you my bed,' Mikey suggested.

'Uhhh. No. Thanks.' Frank stepped out of the room and tripped over his own legs 'OW!'

Vivian walked behind him. 'Or you could sleep in the living room. You don't even know your own name!'

'Yeah. I. Know. My. Name!' he stood up and stumbled onto the street. 'Uhh, how did I get here?' he asked, no one really.

Vivian stepped out and grabbed Frank and pulled him into the apartment into the living room. 'Just... stay here.'

Frank slapped her arm off and headed for the door. 'No! I don't wanna stay here! I'm going home!'

'Oi, you drunktard! You don't even know where you live!' Vivian shouted as she walked after him. 'Come back!'

Frank has already stepped outside again. 'I'm. Not. Drunk. Of. Course. I know where I... uhh... live'

Mikey sighed. 'Fine then! Have it your way!' he shouted after him. Then him and Vivian watched as Frank walked off.

Every couple of steps he took, Frank fell on the floor. Broken glass shattered everywhere caused him to bleed even more than he did before.

Vivian's eyes widened and her mouth opened. 'Goodness gracious me!' she shouted, as a typical English girl would. She ran outside and forced him with her.

'NO! LEAVE. ME. ALONE!' Frank shouted as he tried escaping again. 'I'm not 3!'

''Cause you're 2!' Vivian said as she ran to the door and locked it before Frank could get out. 'Go to the couch now!'

'No!' Frank walked over to the locked door and sat in front of it. 'Let me out! Now!' he ordered as he banged the door.

'Why are you so stubborn?' Vivian asked. It was just like taking care of a little spoiled child.

Mikey grabbed Vivian as he whispered to her 'Go to sleep. He can't get out now.'

Frank just sat there in front of the door as he sobbed quietly and punched the door.

Vivian looked at Mikey and rolled her eyes. 'Just look at him!' She walked over to Frank and hugged him. 'You came here in the first place. Why do you want to get out then?'

Frank pulled away from the hug. 'Don't blame me! Brain said!' He started to bang his head against the door. 'Stupid head'

'Control yourself!' Vivian said as she gave Frank a pillow to stop him bashing his head.

'Fuck you!' Frank said as he threw the pillow away. 'Me. Is. Good. Alone! Let me out!'

Vivian realized that Frank was still bleeding. 'Mikey, get the first aid kit, will you?'

Mikey went to the bathroom cabinet and started searching for it. After he came back with it, Frank was in even worse shape than when he left him. He gave Vivian the first aid kit. She took out some antiseptic wipes and bandages and tried to heal Frank's head.

'Fuck off! Leave me alone!' Frank shouted as he clenched his fists 'I'm not joking!'

Mikey grabbed Vivian from behind and pulled her away. 'Come on, go sleep. I'll take care of him.'

Vivian exploded. 'Fuckitty fuck, Frank! I'm just trying to help you! You came here in the first place! If you don't want help all you have to do is ask! But I care too much for you to get hurt! That's why I'm still here and not asleep!'

'Uh! Me. No need help! And you no need to care 'bout me! I'm a fucking. Idiot' Frank said and hit his head against the door but harder. 'You need sleep more!'

'I swear, you're gonna kill yourself!' Vivian escaped Mikey's embrace and ran to Frank. 'Hell, you're bleeding even more!'

'Frank, you really gotta stop!' Mikey worried.

'I'm. Not. Gonna. Stop!' Frank smiled weakly 'Or. Die!'

Vivian screamed in anger. 'GAAHH! I seriously don't know what else to do!'

Mikey passed her the first aid kit, and she tried to heal Frank's wounds again. But he pushed her away.

'Leave! Me! Alone!' Frank spat 'I! Don't! Need! Help!'

'YEAH! YOU! DO!' Vivian shouted, trying to sound equally to Frank. Mikey crouched down next to them and held Frank in place while Vivian attempted to heal Frank once again.

'Fuck off!' Frank said as he kicked Vivian away and tried to get Mikey to let him go.

Vivian sat on the floor, helpless. 'I fucking give up!'

Mikey crawled up to her and hugged her to comfort her. 'It' okay. You did the best you could. but this asshole is just unbearable.' She screamed into Mikey's chest and he hugged her to muffle her scream.

Seeing that the door is no longer guarded, Frank stood up and tried opening it. Vivian tried to stop him, but Mikey just held her even closer and whispered 'Just let him go'

Finally, Frank managed to get the door open and he grinned happily as he stepped outside. 'Whoa! So big!' he said. A second later, he fell down on the floor and coughed up blood.

Vivian heard Frank. She couldn't take it. All she could do was scream into Mikey's chest again. And all Mikey could do was hug her even tighter, and say that 'this guy is really fucked.'

Frank stared at the blood, amazed 'Red? Wow!'

Vivian couldn't take no more. She collapsed on the floor in tears.

Mikey shouted after Frank 'Seriously, dude! Are you really gonna be like that? Look what you've done!'

Frank just ignored Mikey and crawled along the pavement. He came across a bottle of vodka and drank it all up with a burp.

Mikey, just having seen all that, had enough. 'That's it! I'm calling Gee!' he took out his phone and dialled Gerard's number.

Frank froze. Gee? Why would he get Gee involved in this? His eyes widened. He crawled away as far as possible.

Mikey hanged up the phone. 'Yo! Gee's coming over!' he shouted to Frank.

Frank couldn't believe this. He started crawling away quickly and sobbing to himself. Gee couldn't see him in this state. This wasn't happening. He crawled for a bit and then collapsed on the street, coughing up more and more blood, and unable to catch his breath. He just stared at his blood in amazement.

Vivian could hear all this. She stood up and ran to Frank. Mikey followed. Once they reached him, Frank was at his worst. They knew he was a drug addict. He said his life sucked. He just became addicted to drugs as they helped him relax and be positive. His closest friends knew about it, but they thought he stopped. It was now that they found out he didn't.

Frank couldn't breathe. He choked on his own blood. He was getting really freaked out. Vivian tried to help him breathe. She banged his back. 'Breathe, for fuck's sake!' she pleaded.

A car pulled up in front of Mikey's apartment. Seeing the driver, Mikey told them 'That's Gerard's car over there.'


	2. 2 Gallons Of The Stuff

Frank tried to breathe, but he just coughed up more and more blood. 'I'm. So. Rry.' Frank couldn't say anymore so he just blacked out but even then he was unable to breathe or anything. He could feel death coming for him.

Vivian lost control. 'FRAAAAAAAAAANK! FRANKIEEEEEEEEE!' she screamed at him.

As he heard Vivian's screams, Gerard ran out of his car to them. He knelt by Frank. 'Frankie?' he started to tear up 'FRANK?'

Frank could hear someone calling him, but didn't care and just watched the blackness happily.

'FRANK! You fucking crazy bastard! You wake up this fucking instant!' Gerard's tears dropped onto Frank's face. 'YOU HAVE TO!'

Frank felt something pulling him back, but he didn't want to go. 'No, why?'

'I FUCKING NEED YOU TO CARRY ON IN THIS LIFE! I LOVE YOU! STAY HERE IM BEGGING YOU!' Gerard shouted at Frank.

Frank opened his eyes, being able to breathe. 'Gee? I'm sorry…'

Gerard smiled. At least Frank regained his consciousness. 'Don't be!' Gerard told him 'Even though you scared the living shit out of me. We need to get you to a hospital.' Hearing that, Mikey phoned for an ambulance.

'I'm. OK. I. Don't. Need. Help!' Frank said slowly.

Gerard knew he wasn't. 'Your argument is invalid. Just look at you! You're like a fountain of blood!'

'But I'm OK. It's. Old. I. Am. OK. I. Don't. Need. Hospital!'

Gerard frowned. Frank did not know what he was on about.

'The ambulance will be here any second.' Mikey said.

'No! I'm. OK!' Frank exclaimed as he struggled to his feet and tried walking away. 'I'm' he took a very deep breath 'OK.'

'Oh, stop trying to act alright 'cause you're not!' Gerard grabbed Frank. 'Lie down'

Frank tried to get up again. 'No! I'm really. OK! Leave me!'

Gerard had no other choice that to sit on Frank to keep him down. 'Frankie, you have to stay on the floor until the ambulance gets here.'

'No!' Frank insisted. 'Let! Me! Go!' he was kicking ad pushing Gerard to get off him. 'You motherfucker!'

'What the hell, Frank? You're the motherfucker here. We're all trying to help you, which you clearly need, and all you do is fucking think of getting away and God-knows-what.' As Gerard finished, the ambulance arrived.

'I. Do. Not. Need. Help!' Frank started to cry. 'I can get through this!' he continued between sniffs. 'Just. Don't. Take. Me. There.' He looked at the ambulance. 'Please, Gee!'

Gerard sighed. 'But you look like hell! If we won't help you, they'll have to!'

'But. I. Can. Look. After. Myself! I. Do. Not. Need. Them!' Frank started to cry hysterically.

'Yes. You. Do! If you won't let them help you, al least let us help you. You were dying a second ago!'

'I. Wasn't. Dying! I. Don't. Need. Help!' Frank pushed Gerard off. 'Get off me!'

Gerard got a hold of Frank. 'Listen, you bitch! You either let US help you or let THEM take you. 'Cause you cant go through this alone. Well?'

'No! Just. Leave. Me. Alone!' Frank tried to break free. 'I can look. After myself!'

Gerard pinned Frank down. 'I'm only doing this because I care.'

The ambulance people came over to them.

'No! Gee! Please! Don't! Let! Them! Take! Me!' Frank started to cry and tried to push Gerard off. 'Don't! Do! This! Please!'

Gerard grabbed Frank. 'SOMEONE has to do SOMETHING. If they don't you'll just bleed to death and go headfirst into your grave. I DON'T WANT THAT, EVER TO HAPPEN, ESPECIALLY NOT YOU'

'No! Gee! No! I won't! This! Is! Stupid! I'm fine! I don't! Need! Their! Help!' Frank still struggled to break free. 'Let! Me! Go!'

'This is not stupid. Your presence kept me alive, and if you're not here anymore, what will? I'm just trying to keep YOU alive, don't you understand?'

'But. But. But I am. Alive. I do not need. Help. Especially from. Them! I'm. Sorry. But. Don't. Don't. Let. Them. Take. Me! Please. Gee! Please'

'My God! Your blood is everywhere!' Gerard started hyperventilating and crying. 'This was going on for too long. I... I... I need to help you... Somehow!' he started shaking.

'Gee! Gee! What's wrong?' Frank looked at Gerard wide eyed 'Why. Are. You. Shaking?'

'I'm... I'm so fucking sorry. Sorry. SORRY!' Gerard looked at the ambulance people and clenched his teeth.

'Sorry? About what? Gee what's wrong?' Frank stared at Gerard confused 'What. Are. You talking about?'

'I hope one day you'll forgive me' He helped the ambulance people put Frank on a carriage.

'No! Gee! For! Fucks! Sake! No!' Frank struggled to get out. 'Fuck! Why? Fucking fuck! How could you? You motherfucker! I! Hate! You! Fucktard! Let! Me! Out!'

'I FUCKING LOVE YOU TOO MUCH TO FUCKING LET YOU DECIDE TO DIE. YOU DON'T REALIZE HOW FUCKING STUPID YOU'RE BEHAVING!'

'I! Gerard! Fuck! I! Wouldn't die! But! No! Not this! This is fucking too much! Fuck! Mother fucking shit!' Frank started crying and coughing blood again.

Gerard cried harder. 'Oh, so you don't CARE ABOUT ME? About the people you're hurting? Look at them' he points to Vivian and Mikey, which were sobbing in each others arms. 'Look at me! Is this what you always wanted?'

'I' Frank tried speaking between deadly coughs of blood. 'No! Sorry!' he looked down. 'Motherfucking. Shit! It's. All. Wrong! Sorry!'

Gerard hugged Frank and carried on crying. Mikey and Vivian joined in.

'I'm. Sorry! I'm. Such. A. Selfish. Bastard! Sorry! I. Don't. Deserve. You. Guys!' Frank cried.

'Now you realize?' Gerard asked, jokingly.

The ambulance people checked Frank's wounds. 'He'll need stitches'

'That's how bad you are!' Gerard said as he kissed Frank's forehead.

'I. I'm. Sooo sorry!' Frank looked at Gerard, Mikey and Vivian 'I. I didn't. Sorry. I'm so. Fucking. Sorry!'

'It's OK' Gerard sniffed.

The ambulance people raised the carriage on which Frank lay.

'We're coming with' the three friends of Frank said.

Frank half smiled. 'Thank you. You guys. Are the best people alive. You. You don't deserve someone like me! I. Should. Go rot. In a cave. Or something.'

Gerard laughed slightly. 'No, you shouldn't! We're the lucky ones here! We're lucky to have you!'

They all walked over to the ambulance.

'I should! You guys don't deserve to worry. You did nothing wrong. I'm the shittiest person alive! You guys should just go and enjoy your life! Forget me!' Frank wiped his tears from his face but winced at the pain.

'Stupid! Of course we won't forget you!' Gerard smiled at him.


	3. 3 Take Me From The Hospital Bed

'But. Why don't u guys hate me? You should hate me!' Frank frowned 'Not that I want you to hate me... But you should, I ruined your lives...'

'We could never hate you!' Vivian reassured him 'You're the reason we all united! To be honest, I don't remember the last time I saw you or Gee. We love you, don't you forget that!'

'Yeah, but I'm the reason you're all here. I'm the reason today is so fucked up!'

'You're the reason…' Gerard looked down 'You healed me. I thought I'd never feel any emotion. You made me better.'

'I. I did?' Frank tried to smile 'I love you Gee!'

Gerard smiled. This guy was too good to be true. 'I love you too, Frankie. I love you forever!' he leaned over to kiss Frank.

During the time it took them to get to the hospital, Gerard and Frank talked about how they've missed each other. Not seeing each other for over 8 months is a long time. They lived on two different sides of the city and rarely their paths crossed. They had their own lives to take care of and they were too busy to see each other.

When they finally got to the hospital, the ambulance people wheeled Frank into the hospital in a rush. Frank's friends followed.

Frank frowned. 'I feel useless Gee!'

'Don't! You're not useless!' Gerard replied.

'I am! I can't even walk without falling down!' Frank looked up around the hospital. 'Where are they taking me?'

'I'm not sure…' Gerard said 'I'm thinking the operating room…'

'Oh shit!' Frank tried to get out.

Gerard smiled. 'You won't feel a thing!'

'Sure I won't!' Frank struggles as he tried to get up. 'Gee, help, please!'

'No, you have to stay lying down!'

Frank was wheeled into an operating room. As he drew closer to the doctor who was ready to operate, he got more worried and his heart pounded even louder. He imagined that they'll rip his body open and… and… Oh, the horror he imagined was too much to take. Suddenly, he realized that the rest wasn't there with him. He saw Gerard trying to get past the door. He got in and ran to Frank.

The doctor tried to push Gerard away. 'I'm afraid you'll have to wait in the waiting room…'

Frank grabbed Gerard, the blood on his hands staining his white shirt even more. 'No! Gee! Stay! Don't go!'

'Gerard turned to the doctor. 'I need to stay with him!'

'I'm sorry, but that's not possible – ' the doctor started.

'I HAVE TO STAY, HE NEEDS ME!'

Frank tugged at the doctor's apron. 'You have to let him stay! Please!'

'You heard him, doctor!' Gerard agreed.

'But the patient cannot get distracted.' The doctor replied.

'I swear he's gonna be asleep though'

Frank pulled at the doctor's apron even harder. 'Please let him stay! I'm begging you!'

'I'm sorry,' replied the doctor as two nurses grabbed Gerard and headed for the door with him. He tried to break free, but those were male nurses, very strong and they didn't let Gerard out of their hands.

'No!' Gerard shouted 'Let! Me! Go! FRANKIE!'

Frank tried to get out of bed but failed and fell on the floor. 'Gerard!' he called, and then he realized he started coughing up blood again 'NO! GEE!'

'FRANK!' Gerard finally got the nurses elbowed away. He ran up to Frank and kneeled by him. 'Frankie?' he started tearing up.

The nurses put Frank back onto the bed.

Frank smiled and took Gerard's hand. His green eyes looked very wet. 'I love you, Gee.'

Gerard did the same. 'I love you too, Frankie.' He turned to the doctor. 'I'm not leaving until he is healed.'

Frank smiled even more, but he started coughing blood again, and he stuttered as he spoke. 'It. Hu- hurts!'

'I know…' he turned to the doctor 'Well?'

The doctor sighed. After all, what could go wrong? 'You'll have to stay back.'

Gerard started to move backwards and his hand brushed slowly against Frank's. 'Stay strong!' He smiled through the last of his tears.

Frank looked at him, frightened. 'Just, just don't leave! Please!'

'I'm never leaving without you!'

Frank just stared at Gerard. 'I love you!'

'I love you too! I'll still be here when you wake up!' Gerard replied through a wide grin.

Frank smiled, ignoring all the pain he was going through and the blood that was with him at all times 'Thank you! Thank you so much! You're the most perfect person alive!'

As he saw the doctor take a large syringe filled with anesthetics, Gerard tried distracting poor Frank. 'It really is okay! And no, you're wrong. You're the most perfect person alive!'

The doctor injected the sleeping drug into Frank. He felt really drowsy and could only mumble 'I wuv you, Geew' as he fell into a hard sleep.

'Goodnight, Frankie' Gerard said, not really sure whether Frank could still hear him but he said it anyways. He turned to the doctor 'Well then. Get going! Heal him!'


	4. 4 Run Away Cause It Was Yesterday

When Mikey and Vivian came in, Gerard was already sitting on Frank's hospital bed, waiting for him to finally wake up. He slept since last night, and it was almost noon now.

'Is he still asleep?' Vivian whispered, not knowing she sucked at it.

Frank started mumbling some nonsense as he sat up in bed. He woke up!

'Morning sunshine!' Gerard said softly and smiled. Mikey and Vivian grabbed two random chairs and sat on the other side of Frank's bed. 'You okay now?' he asked.

Frank continued to mumble as he opened his eyes and looked around. 'Hi.' He took another look around. 'What the hell am I doing here?' he asked, confused.

'You… don't remember?' Mikey asked, surprised.

'Well, basically—' Vivian started, but was interrupted by Gerard.

'It's a really long story, but what matters now is that you're okay.'

'I don't care if it's a really long story, how did I end up here? And why do I feel like shit?'

Gerard sighed. 'Even I don't know much.' He looked at Mikey and Vivian 'They do.'

Frank stared at the two of them. 'What am I doing here? Could you please tell me?' he asked.

Mikey and Vivian looked at each other. Neither of them wanted to explain all the hell that happened last night. It was too much. And they didn't even know how it all started. They only knew the parts they were there for. Vivian bit her lip and put on a puppy dog face to try and convince Mikey to tell it. Mikey just frowned.

'So? Can someone please tell me? It can't be that bad…'

Vivian raised her eyebrows and smiled awkwardly. He didn't know the half of it.

'Duuuuuude….' Mikey said.

'Oh, come on! I wanna know how he ended up here too!' Gerard encouraged.

'Yeah! I mean, if you don't want to tell me now, you don't have to. But you'll have to tell me later!' Frank said.

Vivian nudged Mikey. She certainly didn't want to tell Frank what he's been through, and the only other person that witnessed as much as her was Mikey.

'Okay, long story short.' Mikey said. 'You were really drunk and dying and now you're in a hospital.'

'There's more to it, isn't there?' Gerard asked. Even HE knew that.

'It doesn't feel right, telling the details…' Mikey replied.

'Wait, WHAT? I was DYING? WHAT? WHAT ARE YOU FUCKING TALKING ABOUT?' Frank stood up and stormed out of the room even though his body is still hurting all over a little bit compared to before. Gerard, Mikey and Vivian all looked at each other and started running after him. Frank just kept running until he was out of the building and still ran.

'Frankie! Stop!' Hold on a second!' Gerard still ran after him and grabbed his elbow from behind.

Frank just pushed him off and kept on running. 'No! This. It's. NO!' he said and ran even faster.

Gerard tried to catch up with Frank. For a short guy, he was pretty fast. 'Stop. Running! Let. Me. Them. Explain!'

Frank stopped and turned to them. He could see Mikey and Vivian running up to them. 'Yeah? What's there to explain?' he asked, folding his arms.

Mikey and Vivian blinked awkwardly. 'So you just randomly came to our apartment drunk and called yourself an idiot and there was blood and first aid kit and door and banging and coughing and dying…' Mikey didn't really know if he made any sense at all.

'Okay, that doesn't fucking tell me anything! What. The. Fuck. Happened?' Frank asked.

Mikey and Vivian didn't know how to describe it. It made sense to them, of course, because they were there to witness everything. But poor Frank didn't know a thing about last night. Mikey took a deep breath and tried again. 'So you came over, you wanted to leave, we wanted you to stay, you went all "bam bam" on the door and on the street…'

'I remember you REALLY wanted to hurt yourself, but you never said why…' Vivian added.

Frank's eyes widened. 'Oh shit!' he exclaimed 'Was I really that bad? Please tell me this is some sort of a nightmare I'll soon wake up from. Oh fucking shit!'

'Well, actually, it was WAY wors—' Mikey started, but Vivian elbowed him.

'It really was nightmarish' she said.

Frank put his head in his knees and sat on the pavement. He couldn't believe how bad it was. 'I'm proper fucked up!' he said.

Gerard kneeled by Frank. 'I'll help you get over this. That is, if you want any help.'

'But. But how?' Frank looked at Gerard with bloodshot eyes. He was crying, or nearly that.

'I dunno' Gerard shrugged 'But I promise you, I will.'

Frank leaned over to hug Gerard and whispered 'Thank you.'

'It's really okay' he replied, hugging him.

Frank pulled away from the hug and looked at Mikey and Vivian. 'But I have to ask… did I harm any of you guys?'

The three friends of Frank's looked at each other awkwardly. _Did _he harm them?

Frank started walking away. 'I did, didn't I?' he asked.

'Harm is such a bad word!' Vivian said 'You didn't _harm_ us!'

'Then what, huh?'

'Well, not _harm_. You were a bit of trouble though…'

'What kind of trouble?'

'Mostly to yourself…'

'I don't care about myself because I totally deserved it! But I mean, to you or the others…'

'The thing is,' Gerard said, hoping Frank would understand 'by hurting yourself, you also hurt us. More than yourself, actually!'

'But I'm not doing anything to you guys.' Frank said.

'Well, not hurting us that way, but when you're hurt then so are we and we care for you.'

'I'm sorry about that. I wish… I just wish I knew why I did everything I did before…' Frank looked down 'I'm such an idiot!'

'And that's basically how the hurting started' Vivian said.

'How? I don't get this! This is all shit!'

Vivian sighed. 'Basically, don't call yourself an idiot, 'cause it goes from self name-calling to… bad stuff…'

'But I am an idiot! A fucking idiot! I can't do anything right!' Frank sat down on the pavement again.

Gerard went over to hug Frank. 'Don't beat yourself up! You weren't really yourself! That's all in the past now!'

Frank pushed him away. 'But I can't change what happened! I was such an idiot! Such a fucking idiot! I wish. I wish I never was born!' He started to sob quietly.

'Shut up! Really, what happened happened! But you can learn from your mistakes! And if you were never born, where would I be? Huh?'

'You would be happier! You wouldn't have to he here now!' Frank stood up and started running, hoping that nobody would follow.

Gerard ran after him. 'Actually, seeing your face makes me the happiest man alive!'

Noticing that Gerard chased after him, Frank ran even faster. 'Sure it does!' he replied sarcastically. 'Now leave me alone! Please!'

Gerard couldn't take it anymore. Why was Frank acting so selfish? He collapsed of his knees and screamed to the floor.


	5. 5 This Pool Of Blood

**Hi there.**

**Before you read this, I must warn you that it's going to be very emotional, but I still hope you enjoy this. Try, at least.**

**-KenZ aka AdrenalineVenom xoxox**

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><p>Frank tried to ignore Gerard's screams. He didn't go back to him. Instead, he kept running. He got to his house and ran up to his bedroom and started packing his clothes into a little suitcase. He shoved them in carelessly and then he ran to his little office. He looked through his drawers for pen and paper. <em>Dear Gerard, <em>he wrote. He wanted to apologize to him, but he couldn't do it in person. He wouldn't make it in time anyways. He started scribbling some words onto the paper, but he knew they didn't make sense. He didn't care though; he just wanted Gerard to know he was sorry.

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><p>Gerard shook his head, his tears flying in every direction. 'NO! I can't be alive' he said, maybe to himself and got up and ran after Frank. He was way behind, but he knew where Frank was heading. His house.<p>

When he finally got there, the door was wide open. Frank must be in there. He ran inside.

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><p>Frank stopped writing. He heard someone downstairs. He didn't know what to do. He knew it was Gerard. Why did he follow him? Frank wanted to get away from him. He ran to his closet and hid.<p>

Gerard looked around. 'FRANK! WHERE ARE YOU?' he shouted. He didn't hear anything, but he knew Frank was there. 'Come out! I wanna see your face!' He still didn't notice any reactions. 'I wanna speak to you. Please, I beg you!'

Frank didn't dare to move an inch. He knew he would get acknowledged.

Gerard, not noticing anything new, started looking for him. He walked into the kitchen.

Frank didn't hear Gerard anymore. He assumed he was far enough, and he took the opportunity to run off really quietly.

Gerard couldn't find Frank anywhere. He collapsed on the floor and screamed. He punched the floor and screamed even more.

Frank heard him. He didn't want to, but he did. He put his hands over his ears and ran onto the streets. He just hoped that someone would find Gerard and make sure he was alright.

Gerard banged his head on the cold, hard floor. It hurt. He saw weird random shapes in front of his eyes. 'FRANKIEEEE!' he shouted on top of his voice, so that his throat hurt.

Frank sat on the pavement. He put his hands on his ears to block out the noise coming from inside. He took out his phone and texted Vivian: 'Gerard needs you guys.' And then Gerard: 'Gerard, I'm so sorry! Forgive me, please! I love you xo' and then he turned off his phone.

Gerard didn't bother answering his phone. He didn't want to. He threw his phone at the wall. 'FUCK LIFE' he said to himself.

Frank turned his phone on again, and texted Mikey: 'Hurry! He might do something stupid!' and then Gerard: 'Don't hurt yourself! Please!' Then he just stared at his phone, his tears wetting the screen.

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><p>Mikey read the text he just got from Frank. He replied with: 'Where in the world are you guys?'. He looked at Vivian; she was already looking at him. They knew where they were. They made a dash for Frank's house.<p>

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><p>Gerard banged the back of his head against the wall even harder. He thought the wall was dented by now. His phone just played a broken ringtone in the corner.<p>

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><p>Mikey and Vivian ran as fast as they could. When they finally got there, the door was closed. They both pounded on the door.<p>

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><p>Gerard felt something on the back of his neck. Something… runny. But he didn't care. He just continued banging his head madly on the wall. The liquid dripped down his spine.<p>

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><p>Frank texted Mikey one last time, saying: 'Please, hurry! He is doing something stupid! Save him! Please! Don't let him die! Look after him! Please!' then left his phone on the pavement and headed for the drug part of town.<p>

* * *

><p>Mikey and Vivian were banging on the door for so long that their hands turned red and puffy.<p>

'Are you sure they're even inside?' Vivian asked.

Mikey finished reading the text he got and looked at Vivian. 'We need to get in there NOW!'

* * *

><p>As Frank walked, all he thought about was Gerard's safety. He hoped that he was alright, that he wouldn't do anything stupid. He put his hand in his pocket and took out a little box. Pills. He took them, all of them. Anti-depressants worked for him. He felt his knees give up and fell on the ground, thinking of nothing but Gerard.<p>

* * *

><p>Gerard crawled over to the bathroom. The liquid was now dripping onto the floor. It was red. He didn't care though. He picked up Frank's razor and sat on the floor, slitting his neck, crying silently, ignoring the world.<p>

* * *

><p>Mikey and Vivian had to get in somehow. The door was locked, and they didn't know what else to do. But then Vivian got an idea. She picked up a large stone from Frank's front yard and threw it at the window. It shattered and a big hole appeared in it. They both walked inside the house.<p>

* * *

><p>Gerard was all covered in blood. He lay on the bathroom floor, in a pool of his own blood, with one wish, and that wish was close to coming true now.<p>

* * *

><p>Frank felt his heart slowing down and a sharp pain on his foot. 'I. love. You. Gee…' was all he managed to whisper before he fell unconscious.<p>

* * *

><p>Mikey and Vivian looked all over the house for Gerard but couldn't find him anywhere. Little did they know that Gerard climbed the bathroom window and was now sitting on the ledge, still weeping and sprinkling blood everywhere.<p>

* * *

><p>Frank could feel a fair of hands grabbing him and picking him and he saw a car, but then he blacked out completely.<p>

* * *

><p>'OH MY GOD! MIKEY!' Vivian shouted in shock.<p>

'What?' he asked, walking over to where she was.

Vivian pointed to the bathroom and collapsed on the floor crying. She couldn't believe her eyes. There was a pool of blood on the bathroom floor, and a razor swimming in it.

'HOLY SHIT!' Mikey exclaimed. This was too much to take in. someone was hurt, and he was sure it was Gerard. 'Gerard! Brother, where are you?' he called out. He was shaking and crying.

Gerard could hear his brother calling for him but decided to ignore him. The quicker he ended his life the less pain it will cause to everyone. He would skip all the farewells and goodbyes and make his final actions far easier.

* * *

><p>Frankie woke up in a hospital and realized he has needles stuck everywhere in his body and he slowly took them out and stood up but then his heart stopped beating again and some doctors entered and put Frank back on the bed and connected every needle to his body again. 'Holy shit' was all Frank could say before he blacked out again.<p>

* * *

><p>Keeping as quiet as possible, Gerard started to slowly slide down the window ledge, not caring about anything but Frank.<p>

Outside the bathroom, Mikey could hear some shuffling noises, and without further thinking, he ran inside, his shoes soaking in blood. He saw Gerard all covered in blood and barely holding on. 'GERARD!' he ran up to him but was a fraction of a second too late. He reached out his hand to try and catch him but his hand barely brushed against the tips on Gerard's hair.

* * *

><p>After Frank woke up again he remembered everything he forgot a couple of hours before and it wasn't pretty, but Frankie just sat in bed praying that Gerard is okay...<p> 


	6. 6 The Black Parade I'M DEAD

As Gerard was falling he regretted nothing. He just wanted to put everything to an end. He could hear someone screaming his name but as he hit the ground he wasn't sure if it wasn't just an illusion.

* * *

><p>'GERARD!' Mikey ran out the bathroom and past Vivian downstairs and outside to find Gerard lying in a weird position on the floor, likely to be unconscious. He ran up to him and picked up his head and started crying and screaming.<p>

* * *

><p>Frank finally gave up and hoped no doctors where around as he took his last 5 anti-depressants and unplugged everything that was attached to him and stood up from the bed only to end up on the floor unable to move or talk and it felt good, the pain was causing him to smile inside.<p>

* * *

><p>Confused, Vivian ran down and as she saw what just happened she thought she couldn't take it anymore. She just collapsed on the floor and hoped it's just a nightmare that she'll wake up from and not remember.<p>

Mikey's tears wiped the blood of Gee's face. He didn't know what else to do. His biggest wish right now was to wake up from this nightmare. But he knew this was reality and you can't stop gravity or rewind time or anything.

* * *

><p>After about 5 minutes Frank felt his heart stop beating and the blackness wasn't for long, sure there was the blackness but then the shining light appeared and as he walked right through it he ended up in a place that looked exactly like the black parade – Holy shit! It's real!<p>

* * *

><p>Gerard felt like he was being risen, but he couldn't feel what was rising him. He could only feel being lifted into the air and out of the nothingness that he saw, a bright white light appeared. He felt attracted and repelled by it simultaneously. He wasn't sure if he really wanted to go there, but as he was lead into that light, it seemed he had no choice but to go there.<p>

* * *

><p>Mikey quickly took out his phone and asked, no, he ORDERED the ambulance to prioritize them in an emergency.<p>

* * *

><p>Frank had randomly walked around this place and it was exactly like the black parade except for the marching band. He sat down on the ground and looked around again. 'This place is fucking awesome!' A smile appeared on Frank's lips as he forgot about Gerard for a second but then it came all back and he put his head between his knees and started crying. 'Gee, I miss you so fucking much!' He mumbled to himself.<p>

As Gerard got closer to the bright white light he could hear a voice. A voice encouraging him to go there. The voice was missing him. Have they met before? The voice was sad and crying. He was curious, who was the voice. Now he was eager to go to that place and to meet the voice. He reached for the light with his hand and immediately, he was sucked in.

Frank heard some noises from the other part of this place, but he ignored it. He always thought that in death pain was forgotten but it wasn't. 'I love you Gee, and I'm so fucking sorry!' Frank managed to choke out

* * *

><p>As Mikey cried and waited for the ambulance to come, his heart dropped. He felt Gerard's face – it was stone cold! His lips were turning purple and his skin went pale, and he stopped bleeding!<p>

* * *

><p>Hearing the voice once again, Gerard thought it was apologizing and saying it loved him. He didn't know why, but he wanted to hide from this voice but he didn't know where so he just curled up on the floor. 'Who are you?' he found himself saying; he didn't know whether he whispered or shouted; whether he said it nice and clearly or stuttered; whether he spoke fast or slow.<p>

Frank quickly looked up and hear a voice, so sweet. Gerard's voice. 'Gee?' Frank asked hopefully as he looked around. Was he imagining it? Hallucinating? 'Gerard?' Frank asked again. But his Gee couldn't be dead. He just couldn't.

Gerard heard the voice once again but this time it was clearer that before. He could more or less pinpoint to where it came from and it seemed to be behind him. He recognized the voice, and he knew he loved it. But he couldn't remember how he knew it. He didn't know this place, or anyone in it. But he felt like he belonged here more than anywhere else 'Where am I?' he didn't care who the voice was now as long as it keeps speaking.

Frank couldn't speak. It was Gee, but no matter how hard he tried he couldn't say one word or move an inch. Gee was dead? How? Why? He couldn't be dead! But then how is he here? 'Gee!' was all Frank managed to choke out, this couldn't be true! Gee dead? How? Too many questions were in Franks head as he let out a weak shriek of horror.

Gerard heard the voice once again, but instead of answering his question, it called him the name his close friends called him. That must make us close, he thought. But then he heard a cry and he quickly turned around. Behind him, as he expected, was the owner of the voice. He couldn't quite tell who it was because he could only see the back. He just sat there and didn't dare moving in case he scared the person. 'Yes? Yeah that's... me. Do we know each other?'

* * *

><p>Mikey screamed on top of his lungs. How could his brother do this? This is unbelievable! Now he wanted to die too, but he didn't want to leave Gerard's side at the moment.<p>

* * *

><p>Frank heard Gee again but didn't have the guts to look at Gerard. And then he remembered Gerard's question. Do we know each other? What type of question was that? 'Yeah. I guess so' Frank answered quietly but loud enough for Gee to hear.<p>

It might've been hours before Gerard answered. He couldn't really judge the time in this place, or anything else in that matter. The owner of the voice seemed to be miles away, yet he was at an arm's reach. 'What... What's your name?'

Frank felt his heart break. Gerard didn't remember him. But he though that's what he deserved, he deserved it 100% but then why did it hurt like shit? Frank brought himself to say his name, no matter how hard it will be. 'I'm… I'm Frank. The biggest jerk that ruined your life.' Frank said as a tear feel down his face.

As soon as he heard 'Frank' Gerard's heart started pounding in his chest. Frank was here! He felt his face brighten up. He crawled over to Frank so that he was just a couple of inches behind him and whispered 'You didn't ruin my life. I'm still here, aren't I?'

Frank felt Gerard was near him and a shiver passed his spine. 'But you're dead! Were both dead in the middle of nowhere! You should hate me with all your guts Gerard! If not for me you would be alive and happy!' Frank felt his heart hurt even more 'I'm the biggest jerk dead or alive! You deserve someone better.'

Gerard's eyes widened and he froze in fear. How could they be dead? That wasn't possible. He stuttered. 'B. But. How? I. You're. Not. Dead.' he touched Franks shoulder 'I. You're. Alive. See?' he waved his hand in front of Franks face. Oh, how he wanted to see his face, but Frank was still turned the other way.

'No. Gee. We are dead. As dead as dead can be!' Frank knew it was his fault Gerard's dead. If it wasn't for him Gerard wouldn't be here! 'And the death part was all my fault. I'm sorry, but a apology can't change anything can it?'

'Frank? Un- unless you were. Holding the. Weapon. You're . Not the. Murderer. We- were you?' Gerard was really confused at this point. If he was dead, what was he still doing?

'But Gee! If I didn't leave you would be alive! If we never met you would be alive and happy! If. If. We never had feelings. For each other. You would be way happier! This shit is all my fault! If you hate me I don't blame you, I hate myself too!' Frank just stared ahead still not able to face Gerard. 'I'm so fucking sorry for everything!'

Gerard tried to remember how he ended up here but couldn't. He couldn't remember anything before this place, as if he's been here forever. Well, it seemed like he could've been. 'But you're wrong! If we didn't meet I could never be happy! You're my one happiness in life! Without you I'd been dead long before, you changed my life! But I was meant to die, sooner or later, so don't blame yourself for anything! I could never hate you! I love you!' he was speaking to the back of Franks head. He just craved for a second of seeing his face.

'No Gee! You wouldn't! You'd be alive and die of old age; you would be happy and find someone you deserve! Not a jerk but a nice sweet guy who would make your life great!' Frank held back his tears. 'And now because of me you're dead and what about your brother and Viv? What about them? I ruined 3 fucking lives! What kind of selfish jerk am I?'

_Viv and Mikey, when did they come in the story?,_ Gerard thought. 'If we never met, I would've died at a very young age, you know that? I was extremely close to that, but when I met you my life turned upside down and I lived a good life. And no one deserves me but you. You and just you. And what about Mikey and Viv? He wanted to go in front of Frank to see his face and wipe his tears but was afraid of the reaction.

'No Gerard, I don't deserve you! I never did and I never will! You're too good! You never harmed anybody! You don't deserve to die! And Viv and Mikey, they will miss you! They love you! Imagine what they are feeling now? Seeing you dead!' Frank couldn't hold his tears back anymore so he started crying.

Gerard didn't know what to say. Nothing would've seemed right if he said it. With all the courage he had, he crawled to face Frank and he just stared into his tearing eyes. He wiped his tears and hugged him.

Frank couldn't look Gerard in the face and he couldn't bring himself to hug Gerard back. No matter how hard he tried. 'I'm so sorry Gee!' Frank just stared at nothing in particular knowing that this was his entire fault. Gerard didn't deserve this. No one did except Frank.

Gerard pulled away from Frank, wondering why he kept blaming himself. 'Look, it's not your fault.' He sighed. 'As long as I'm with you, I couldn't be happier.'

'Then whose fault is it?' Frank still couldn't bring himself to look at Gerard. 'It has to be someone's fault! And I'm to only one who fits into the blame section!'

'It's MY entire fault! For not being by your side this whole time! I'm sor-' as Gerard was saying this, he began to fade.

* * *

><p>'<em>200! CLEAR!'<em>

* * *

><p>'Gee?' Frank saw him fading and just stared at him wide-eyed. 'Gerard? What's happening?'<p>

'I.. I don't know!' Gerard's voice began to fade 'I don't want to leave you! I WANNA STAY HERE!' he grabbed Frank's hand but even then he still faded away.

* * *

><p><em>'His pulse is stabilizing!'<em>

* * *

><p>Frank tried to hold onto Gerard's hand and smiled reassuringly. 'I love you Gee. Look after yourself.' He said before Gerard faded away completely.<p> 


	7. 7 I Think I'd Love To Die

Gerard woke up in a hospital room with a lot of professionally-looking people standing over him. WHY did they bring him back? He wasn't worth staying on earth. He wanted to go back to Frank, to his only reason. 'NO! TAKE ME BACK!' he screamed.

'He's breathing,' one of the doctors said.

'NO! I! WANT! BACK!' Gerard insisted.

'What? You're alive. Oh, you mean back to your friends? They're outside. NURSE! You can let them in.'  
>Gerard didn't want to see neither of them. He was too ashamed. The doctor didn't understand what 'back' meant. 'NO! DONT! LET! THEM! IN! I want to be left alone.'<p>

* * *

><p>Frank just sat and stared at the place Gerard was a couple of seconds before. Gee was where he belongs, Frank could wait here for Gee until his time came, but hoping next time it will be of old age. 'Gerard I love you.' Frank said that to no one really, to himself as he stood up and looked around.<p>

* * *

><p>'Hmm.' The doctor checked the breathing equipment and the heart monitor. 'Well, you rest here.' Him and the nurses walked out of the room.<br>'I need to get back there. Don't worry Frankie, I'm coming back home.' Gerard whispered to himself.

* * *

><p>Frank stood still. Did he just hear Gerard? 'Gee?' No, it must have been his mind playing tricks again. 'Stupid brain!' Frank chuckled.<p>

* * *

><p>Gerard got up from the hospital bed. There were weird wires and tubes and Godknowswhat stuck to him. He grabbed them and quickly snatched them off. 'OH!' he cried in pain. But he was going to experience even more pain if he wants to meet Frankie again. 'A sacrifice is hugely rewarded' he whispered to himself as he tried to look for something dangerously useful.<p>

* * *

><p>Frank got a weird sensation that told him something was wrong. He knew Gerard was doing something very stupid and he couldn't stop it. 'Gee, don't do anything stupid! Please!' Frank said knowing Gerard can't hear him. But its the only thing he can do.<p>

* * *

><p>Gerard shuffled through the equipment and found some sterilized scalpels and needles. As he tried to pick up a large scalpel, his body suddenly went numb and his stomach churned.<p>

* * *

><p>Frank sat down on the ground wondering what Gerard is doing and hoping he will stop and just be safe and happy. 'Gee, be carful.' He whispered.<p>

* * *

><p>Gerard ignored the weird feeling he got and then he thought he could hear someone warning him. He ignored that too and got a hold of the scalpel. 'Frank, I'm almost there!' he whispered as he put it in his stomach and passed out.<p>

* * *

><p>Frank got a really bad feeling. 'Oh, no, no, no, no!' he repeated. He knew Gerard did something bad, very bad. 'Why? For fuck's sake, Gerard! Can't you keep safe?'<p>

* * *

><p>As Gerard watched the blackness for a time now, he began to see the bright white light again, and that sensation of rising to it. 'Frank, I'm nearly there!' he said. He reached for the light and smirked. When he finally got there, he couldn't be happier. He looked around. 'Frank? Where are you?'<p>

Frank walked up to Gerard. 'Why, Gee, why?'

'Why what?' Gerard asked, confused.

'Why did you come back here? Why not stay alive, huh?'

'Because I had no reason to stay there. My reason is here' he pointed at Frank.

'But Gee, you do! You have Mikey, you have Viv! You have a lot! You should have stayed there! You should have stayed alive Gee!'

'If you're not alive, then what's the point of having anyone else?'

'Gee! Because you are suppose to stay alive! I would wait here for you! But no! You had to be so selfish and die again right?' Frank turned away from Gerard and walked off.

'I guess my whole life is just one big mistake...' Gerard sat on the floor.

Frank turned on his heels and looked at Gerard. 'Your life isn't one big mistake! How could you say that?'

'IT IS! All my life I've made stupid mistakes! My life was a mistake, and I'm beginning to think the only right thing was this death.'

Frank walked up to Gerard and hugged him. 'Your life isn't a mistake, it never was and never will be Gee! You're one of the best things that ever lived!'

'That's cause you made me this. Without you, I'm not worth anything anymore.'

'Gerard,' Frank looked Gerard in the eyes. 'With me or without me you're still worth more then anything that ever existed!'

Gerard was too ashamed to make eye contact and mumbled 'But I don't feel like carrying on without you. I need you.'

Frank pulled back but still looked at Gerard. 'But Gee, you wouldn't carry on without me! I would always be with you, if could see me or not. Gee you still have a chance to go back there!'

'I don't wanna go back without you…' Gerard whispered, still looking down.

'Gerard, please! You need to be alive! Please. We would meet again even if you go back! Please Gerard!'

'But... But I'm here, and it feels just like being alive!'

'But Gerard, you would spend your life there and then we could have eternity together!'

'I don't see the point of that! I don't wanna keep you waiting.'

'Gerard, please! I'm begging you! Can you do this for... me?'

Gerard was still looking down. 'But I can't go back and forth at will. If the doctor doesn't revive me in time I have to stay here. And if he does, I make no promises as to my health.'

'Gee, your not fully dead yet! I think if you try you can. Please try!'

'But.. I can't! I'm so sor—' Just as he was about to apologize he started fading again.

Frank smiled. 'Just look after yourself Gee! I'll be waiting here!' he quickly kissed Gerard's lips before he completely faded.


	8. 8 Hip Hip Hooray For Me You Talked To Me

Gerard woke up on the hospital bed again. 'Frank…' he whispered before losing consciousness and falling asleep.

* * *

><p>Over a couple of days Gerard was healing and then Vivian and Mikey were able to go and see him. Gerard was too ashamed to make eye contact or speak with either when they entered the room.<p>

'Gerard…' Mikey sighed.

Gerard just lay there in the bed hoping they would leave him alone.

'Why would you go and do this to yourself?' Mikey asked.

* * *

><p>Frank spend most of his time walking around this place as he didn't need to sleep or eat, nothing could harm him here; well, not physically. He got bored again so he started talking to himself again.<p>

'Gerard, how I love you,' was something Frank loved saying to himself and imagining Gerard could hear him.

* * *

><p>Gerard closed his eyes and imagined were not there and that he had no one to answer to. But he did. He thought he heard Frank. But it could've been just another side effect of the pills he's taking.<p>

Mikey crossed his arms. 'I'm not leaving without an answer.'

* * *

><p>Frank started thinking about what Gerard might be doing now, trying to distract himself from the dull landscape in front of him.<p>

'I hope Gee is enjoying himself.' Frank mumbled to himself as he zigzagged on the floor. 'Why don't they have TV's here?' Frank laughed at his own stupidity.

* * *

><p>Gerard smiled. At nothing really. He wasn't paying attention to the outside world. He just smiled. He put it down as another side effect of the pills.<p>

Seeing a random grin on his brother's face, Mikey turned to Vivian. 'How can he find this funny?' he asked rhetorically. She shrugged. He turned back to Gerard. 'Gee, listen here. We just wanna know if you're ok now?'

* * *

><p>Frank closed his eyes and still zigzagged humming 'Welcome to the Black Parade' when fell on the ground by tripping over a rock.<p>

'Oww. Stupid rock!' Frank said as he stood up and kicked the rock on to fall down again. 'Aww, shit!' Frank grinned and took the rock and threw it in a random direction; this was the most fun he had in a couple of days.

* * *

><p>Gerard didn't know why but he spoke quietly to himself. 'I could entertain you better…' he said.<p>

'He's not making sense...' Mikey noted, shaking his head.

'Let's leave him for now... Poor guy…' Vivian frowned.

Frank couldn't move. Had he just heard Gerard? He would never mistake Gee's voice. Was it his mind? He knew Gerard wasn't here if he was Frank would've felt it. Maybe it was his mind playing tricks? Oh well, even if it is his mind he might as well answer and pretend he may really be talking to Gee. 'And how are you planning on doing that?' he asked.

Gerard thought he was going mental. Maybe he was. As long as it'll make them go away, he will keep being crazy. 'I have lots in mind' he smiled.

'Gee, what do you mean?' Mikey asked worryingly.

Vivian felt for Gerard. He went through a lot, and she understood if he wanted to be left alone. She grabbed Mikey's hand and pulled him back. 'Come on, let's go. I don't think he wants to talk now.'

Frank grinned; this conversation was turning interesting. 'Care to share?' He was pretty happy something was happening. But he knew deep in his heart that this wasn't his mind talking but he ignored it for now.

Gerard smiled and his eyes were all sparkly. He knew he was going crazy, but he could blame it on the doctors. 'Well, hide and seek seems pretty fun. Or tag. Heheh!'

Vivian and Mikey just stared at him and slowly backed away and told the nurse that was on the shift to look after him. She watched him from a window.

Frank burst out laughing. 'And how are you planning on doing that?'

Gerard cringed a bit. How was he going to play games with his mind? 'Heehe I don't know!'

'Gee! Sometimes you have the weirdest ideas ever! And I love you for that!' Frank said then realized what he just said. What the fuck? Did he just say that to his mind?

Gerard raised his eyebrows. His mind just told him that it loved him. He laughed a little. 'Wow, I love you too! I'm really going crazy, and you're keeping me company!' he patted his own head.

'Okay, this is getting kind of freaky!' Frank thought out loud. This totally didn't make sense. It's as if he really was talking to... Gee? 'Gerard... Is it really you?' He asked before thinking.

Gerard thought he was crazier by the second. Oh well, he thought, why not kill time and have a chat with mind. 'Yeah, that's what they call me! You are?'

'Okay Gerard this is fucking freaking me out! I mean, how can I talk with you?' Frank was very confused. 'Gerard, you're alive, right?'

Was Gerard going mental? His mind seemed to have a mind of its own and speaking its own things. He shook. 'I'm alive, but not quite awake since I'm having conversations with air.'

'Gerard, you're not talking with air... It's me, Frank. I don't know how it's possible but somehow we are talking to each other... I think...'

Gerard smiled widely from ear to ear. Frankie! 'Oh, Frankie! I've been missing you!' Even if he was dreaming, this was a really nice dream to have.

Frank smiled. 'I miss you too Gee! I wish I could see you somehow! So, how have you been keeping in the real world?' Frank hoped this was real.

Gerard was glad he was talking with Frank, but he knew this wasn't real and that he'd wake up any time. The 'real world' is not where he wanted to be. 'Okay, I guess. But it's not half as nice when it's one precious person short.' his smile faded.

Frank frowned. 'Gerard, don't think like that... We will see each other again soon.' He said, hoping soon meant when it was Gerard's natural time. 'Don't think about it that way... Be happy that at least we can communicate.' Frank tried to smile but couldn't but still tried making his voice sound happy.

'Soon is still not soon enough!' Gerard pouted, and as he looked over to the window he could see the way the nurse looked at him as if he was mental. And since she was looking at him he couldn't make 'soon' happen now. 'Anyways, I'm put into special care...'

Frank felt anger rise inside of him. 'WHAT? SPECIAL CARE? WHY? WHY THE FUCK DO THEY PUT YOU IN SPECIAL CARE?' Frank felt like punching one of the stupid doctors who thought that Gerard, his Gerard, needs some special care as if he was mentally sick. 'Why the fuck do they think you need special care? Didn't Viv or Mikey stop them? Why?'

'Its cause I wished myself away two times in a row. And Viv and Mikey had no voice in this! I don't think they even care as long as I don't do something like that again. And now that I'm speaking to myself they'll make it double special care!'

'Stupid fucking idiots.' Frank heard himself say. 'Maybe you should be more discreet about talking to me... I don't want you in more special care! You don't need it!' Frank felt so bad for Gerard. 'You really don't need it...'

'Meh, I don't really mind 'cause there's nothing worse that can happen now…'

'GERARD ARTHUR WAY! DONT YOU DARE TALK LIKE THAT! YOU HAVE A LOT TO LIVE FOR AND YOU MUST MAKE THE MOST OF IT! Just be happy! Just. Don't try to harm or kill yourself! Talk to Mikey and Viv. Just live your life, okay?'

Gerard rolled his eyes. Why did Frank not understand? Without him, life shall not be lived to its fullest by order of Gerard Arthur Way the First. But then he had to ask something. Frank! Oh, Frank, you must tell me where you are! Not you, who I'm speaking to, but you-you!'

Frank looked shocked 'What? Why?'

'Well I don't know where you are and I really need to know because I need to find your body' he hoped to find the body and somehow bring Frank back to life, and even though he knew it was impossible he still held on to the tiny pieces of hope that kept him going.

'I. I don't really know.' Frank said feeling a tear or two roll down his face. He didn't like to think of the times before he died. They were bad times. He hated and regretted them. 'It's. I. I know it's somewhere in a hospital. I don't know where. I even know how I got there. I'm sorry!'

'No, no, no, no, NO! You have to remember! You have. To!' he could hear the door opening and he quickly pretended to be asleep but he knew it was a bad idea since he was being watched.

Frank knew something was wrong, so he kept quiet and hoped that Gee will tell him what was wrong later.


	9. 9 If You Want I'll Keep On Crying

The people at the door turned out to be Vivian and Mikey. They looked ghost-like.

'Gerard! Oh God!' Mikey was crying and his tears were dripping onto his shirt which was all wet.

Hearing his brother in such state, Gerard sat up fast. 'Mikey! What's wrong?'

Mikey tried his best to speak between the loud sobs. 'It's Frank! He! He's! Gerard, he's!' he couldn't finish what he was saying. He was in agony.

Gerard's eyes widened. He knew exactly what his brother was going to say. It was hard for him to accept it, but for Gerard it was even harder because he was still in contact with Frank. 'Mikey! Come here!' he hugged Mikey and even though he tried to look strong for his brother he started weeping uncontrollably. Speaking to Frank wasn't enough. He couldn't see him. He couldn't feel him. A voice in his head could just as well be an illusion.

Frank didn't know what was wrong but it was freaking him out, he could hear Gerard cry and him talking to Mikey, something was wrong but what? He couldn't keep himself from asking Gerard knowing that he may not be able to reply. 'Gee? What's wrong?' Frank asked; he was very worried about what was happening as he couldn't see or hear anything else going on there. 'Gerard are you okay?'

Gerard tried his best to block out Frank's voice by sobbing loudly when he heard him. He was dead, and that was his spirit. He was lost in the spirit plane with no way back. And his contact was not helping Gerard to move on.

Frank was freaking out even more now. Why was Gerard ignoring him? What was wrong? 'Gerard! What's wrong? What happened?' He asked in a very worried voice.

Gerard kind of felt bad for ignoring poor Frankie. It wasn't his fault. But he couldn't speak to him directly. 'Mikey,' he sobbed and kept hugging his baby brother 'How? How do you know about Frankie? Where? Where is he?'

Mikey couldn't speak anymore. He was overwhelmed by the loss of his best friend, and his brother special friend.

Frank heard just what Gerard said to Mikey. He heard exactly what Gerard said and he felt a tear fall down his face as he collapsed on the floor. 'Oh shit, shit, shit, shit' was all Frank managed to say and he repeated the word again and again and again. Then he realized he had to get a grip of himself. He slapped himself mentally and physically. 'Oww, shit!' This could be happening. 'Gerard, please! Just don't go there. Don't go where I am. Please!'

Gerard pulled Mikey back to wipe his tears. 'Shhh, it'll be okay' he said through his own tears. 'I don't wanna go' he said to Frank but also to Mikey.

Frank let out a sigh of relief. 'Good. I'll. I'll just leave you alone for now.' Frankie stood up and strolled down where he was walking before, think of how stupid he must have been to think that they would never find him. How maybe his body would be safe. How stupid was he to think that?

'They. They have. Frank's body. He. It. In. Hospital. Downtown.' Mikey said in between sobs.

Gerard felt his eyes tear up more by the second and he couldn't see a meter in front of him. 'Mikey. I have. To. Go. And. See him.' he had to see how the body was, and try to figure out Frank's story which he didn't have the guts to ask about.

Frank stopped in his tracks as he heard what Gerard said. 'Gerard! Please! Don't fucking go there! Gerard, don't! I. Don't!' Frank felt useless he couldn't stop Gerard from going there.

'But. But they won't. Let you. Out.' Mikey stuttered, sniffing.

'Well, it's either out or a different place.' Gerard said to both of them. His clothes and bed sheets were soaking wet by now.

Frank couldn't believe what he just heard. But why Gerard? Don't do this! Why. Just don't! Please! Gee! Just stay here! Please! Please, please, please, Gerard!' Frank went on his knees. 'Don't do this!'

Mikey looked at Gerard wide eyed. Was this a threat? 'OK. I'll get. Them. To let. You. Out. Just please. Don't hurt yourself.'

Gerard wiped the tears from his eyes and tried to stop them altogether. 'Pr-promise for promise?'

'Yeah.' Mikey sniffed.

From what he heard, Frank figured out Mikey had agreed and he couldn't believe it. 'GERARD, WHY THE FUCK DO YOU WANT TO DO THIS?' He felt like dying again. This shit. Even in death he wasn't happy. Fucking stubborn Gerard.

'I just want to see you, Frank' Gerard whispered.

'Gee, Frankie is still in the hospital.' Mikey said.

'Can I go today?'

'I'll try' Mikey replied as he and Viv walked out of the room and left Gerard alone.


	10. 10 If This Is What You Want

**Hi there!**

**I just wanted to make things clear before you carry on, because it confused even myself. Only Gerard can hear Frank, and Frank can only hear Gerard. Frank is lost in the spirit plane, so he is NOT with the others. He's dead. I think it makes sense now :)**

**-KenZ xoxox**

* * *

><p>'BUT GERARD! WHY DO YOU FUCKING WANT TO SEE ME FUCKING DEAD? WHY?' Frank felt able to kill. 'FUCK YOU GERARD!' Frank gave up, Gerard was a too fucking idiot to not go. Fuck him! Fuck death! Fuck his dead body! Fuck something that was keeping him alive! Fuck everything!<p>

Gerard frowned. 'Wanna know something? While I've been here, all bored, thinking of nothing but you, I had a laptop on me. And know what I did? I researched. What I found out was that when your dead body is sprinkled with holy water and buried, you'll no longer be there. Your soul will move on. And we won't be able to keep in touch. I DONT WANT THAT.'

Frank was speechless. He would be able to move on... He wouldn't be stuck in this place, where ever it was. He actually would die. No pain. No sorrow. No Gerard. Yeah, that was the only major down point. But he knew he couldn't say anything, if he would say something it would be something stupid. He would keep silent for now.

'Or... Do you want to move on? Gerard said, not knowing whether he was sad or happy for Frank. 'After all, it's you, not me.'

Frank though about it long and hard; he wanted to move on and die but he could do that to Gerard. He already caused him too much pain. No, he wanted to stay. For Gerard. 'No. I. I don't want to go.' Frank answered in a shaky voice.

Gerard frowned. He knew something wasn't right just there. 'Listen, I'd rather you tell me the truth. This is a difficult decision, I know, but once you make the choice there is no going back. Please, choose what suits YOU, don't care about me 'cause I'm not important in this.'

Frank didn't care what Gerard thought; he _was_ important in this. 'I know Gee. But I want to stay.' Frank said trying to sound confident and hoping Gerard will believe him.

'Are you sure? Like, completely sure? I don't want to make yet ANOTHER mistake.' Gerard dried his eyes.

'Gee, I'm completely sure. I couldn't be more sure.' Frank lied, hoping Gerard would believe him and he really wanted to hug Gerard now, but it was impossible.

'I hope you know what you're up for.' A single tear drop slid down Gerard's check as he said this.

'Gerard, don't worry! I won't leave you! I promise!' Frank tried making his voice sound happy.

Gerard took a deep breath. He shouldn't have mentioned anything in the first place. He was too selfish. He wanted Frank, but he knew Frank wanted something else. 'Alright.' He whispered.

Frank frowned. 'Gee, what's wrong?' Gerard now seemed sad and stuff. Frank wondered why.

'Nothing! Nothing. At. All!' Gerard replied quickly in a bright voice.

'Gerard, I'm not that stupid, I know something's wrong!' Frank wondered why Gerard didn't want to tell him what's wrong. Was it something bad? 'Gee just tell me what's wrong!'

Right now, everything was wrong. The only thing that kept him alive was the fact that he's being watched by nurses all the time. But he couldn't let Frank worry. 'As I said, nothing is wrong. Just. Tired. Yawn.'

'Gerard Arthur Way, I demand you to tell me what the fuck is wrong!' Frank tried sounding as demanding as possible. 'And don't give me the nothing-is-wrong shit. Just tell me what's wrong!'

Gerard took another deep breath. 'Wanna know what's really wrong? The fact that you're dead!' he started tearing up again. 'And there's nothing I can do about it! And. I. Just. Cant. Ta-ake it anymore!' he was crying and he saw that he was getting weird looks from the nurse so he turned to his left side and covered his face with a pillow.

Frank really wanted to hug and reassure Gerard then but he knew it was impossible- Gee, I. Don't. Fuck.' He really didn't know what to reply to Gerard. 'It will be okay, Gee.' He knew that sounded stupid but what else could he say? 'Don't cry. Everything will get better.' Why was he saying all that? He knew that it wasn't true so why did he say it?

Gerard didn't say anything. He just lay there, crying, waiting for the world to end. In a way, it did end. He had nothing else to look up to, might as well stay in this mental hospital forever.

'Gee! Don't cry! Pull yourself together! Just... Be happy!' Frank just wanted to stop Gerard from crying. 'Everything will work out!'

Gerard just kept on crying. He had nothing to say. He knew that Frank will try and cheer him up but Frank didn't know how hard it was for him.

'Gee, please don't cry! Life may seem shit now but later it will get better! There's always a good side to everything!' Frank would do anything for Gee to be happy again.

'Try finding a good side to losing the closest special person, Frankie.' Gerard whispered, still crying. 'There is none.'

Frank looked down and sighted. What Gee said was true, but he couldn't stop the feeling that it wasn't completely true. 'But Gee, most people that lose someone close to them can't keep contact with the dead person and they survive. You can keep contact so you shouldn't be so depressed!'

'Yeah but. That's. Other people. And. This is. Us.' Gerard replied between quiet sobs. In a way Frank was right. But to Gerard it was too much. If Frank is dead and he can still contact him, then that doesn't make him fully dead, yet he really is dead.

'Gee, but you will need to get over the fact that I'm dead, soon!' It felt weird for Frank saying that he's dead but feeling alive and healthy.

'How can you expect me to EVER get over your death? You make it sound so easy, but I can't go a day without seeing your face. I have your picture by me at all times but that still doesn't help!'

'But you fucking need to! Okay, I'm fucking dead and you can't fucking change that! What's the point about crying about something you can't fucking change? Because I can't see the whole fucking point! IM. DEAD! GET. OVER. IT!' Frank lashed out at Gee without thinking but he meant every single word.

Gerard was shocked. How could Frank say all this? How was he ever supposed to get over his death? It wasn't possible. 'Try walking in my shoes! I'd swap places with you, but just as getting over you and bringing you back, it isn't possible!'

'Sure! Millions of people have gotten over someone close dying! What makes you so different? Sure, it must be hard and I understand that but you're making a big deal out of it! You need to move on!'

'Easy for you to say! You're the one that's dead! What if it was the other way around? What, would you get over it as easily as you say?'

'Frank bit his lip; he didn't think of that. 'I would try! I wouldn't spend my time crying my eyes out that's for sure!' He knew it was a lie but hoped Gee would believe him. 'And I would try to live my life to the full!' He knew everything he just said was a lie.

'I could slap you. How dumb do you think I am? So why don't I just die now? I'd like to see you do all that.'

'Don't you fucking dare, Gerard! Why would you even say that?' Frank felt angry at Gerard right at that moment. How could he not understand how lucky he was to be alive?

As he was about to speak, the door opened and in came a nurse to check up on him. She was carrying a tray with food and plastic utensils. Gerard stayed quiet. Frank deserved a silent treatment, even if it lasted for five minutes.


	11. 11 So Shut Your Eyes

'Great! Now you're fucking ignoring me! Great, just fucking great! Fuck you!' Frank said as he sat on the ground and banged his head against the floor a couple of times.

Gerard felt a bit awkward but he couldn't speak to Frank now even if he wanted. Suddenly he felt a faint headache.

Frank just rested his head against the floor and closed his eyes trying to fall asleep but knowing he doesn't need it. But he wanted some peace and quiet and to forget everything and for everyone to forget him.

When the nurse went and left him his food, he tried speaking to Frank again. 'Frank! Listen I wasn't ignoring you! I was "keeping discreet".'

Frank ignored Gerard. He just wanted some peace and quiet. Was that too much to ask for?

'Fine then! Blank me like that' Gerard frowned.

Frank finally gave up. 'God, can't a dead person have some peace and quiet? Is that too much to ask for?'

Gerard raised his eyebrows- Alright then. Should've said so before.'

'Don't get mad at me or anything but this isn't easy on me either!'

Gerard sighed. 'I'm not mad at you, I'm mad at myself. I won't bother you anymore.'

'Gerard, you're taking it the wrong way! It's not your fault it's just... I need at least 10 minutes of peace and quiet and I think so do you...'

'Yeah, I think so too. Talk to you later.'

'I love you Gee.' Frank mumbled as his brain went blank and he fell asleep.

'I love you too.' Gerard whispered.


	12. 12 You'd Be A Sleepy Memory

Frank woke up to the normal silence of this place; he wondered how long he was asleep for as time didn't count here. He couldn't hear Gerard and wondered if he was asleep or something like that. 'Gee? You there?'

* * *

><p>Gerard mumbled. 'Wha?' His eyes were closed so he didn't know who was in the room with him.<p>

* * *

><p>Frank figured Gee was asleep so he may as well keep quiet and maybe Gerard could go back to sleep.<p>

* * *

><p>Gerard remembered having a really nice but weird dream about Frank. He looked at the picture of him and smiled. This was his favorite picture of Frank. But then he also remembered something else – Frank was dead! He tried to hold back tears. 'I miss you, buddy!' he said to the photo.<p>

* * *

><p>Frank was confused. Who was Gerard talking to? He though Gee was asleep a couple of minutes ago. He thought it would be better if he stayed quiet and maybe he could figure out what's going on and who Gerard was talking to.<p>

* * *

><p>Gerard took the photograph into his hands at just stared at it. He could never get sick of seeing it. A second later the door opened and in came Mikey and Vivian. They strolled slowly over to him. He put the photo back in place and looked at them.<p>

'Hey.' Mikey greeted him.

'Hey.' He replied.

'You alright?'

'I'm okay…'

'That's good. I just came to let you know that they're releasing you tomorrow, and that you'll be under my care.'

Gerard just sat there, not knowing whether smiling was a good idea since neither Mikey nor Vivian were smiling. 'You don't seem too happy about it…'

'No! I'm thrilled they're letting you out…'

'But not so thrilled you have to look after me.' Gerard finished his brother's sentence.

'No! It's not that…'

'You know, you can say you'll look after me but you can let me back to my house.'

'No, I'd rather babysit you than let you be alone…' Mikey's voice faded on the last couple of words. He felt like he was hurting Gerard's feelings.

* * *

><p>From hearing what he heard Gerard say, he figured what the conversation was about and to who Gerard was talking to now, but he just hoped that Mikey could look after Gerard, and that he would keep him safe and happy unlike Frank did. Frank stood up and started walking around this place again still listening to the conversation going on in the real world.<p>

* * *

><p>'No, it's just that, you know, I have a job and I'd have to work twice as hard to keep up and that would mean I'd have no time…' Mikey tried to explain.<p>

'As I said, it's okay. I can look after myself.' Gerard replied.

A thought passed Vivian's mind. She opened her eyes widely, like she did whenever she had something "smart" to say and she stepped forward, closer to Gerard. 'Ooooor… I could look after you!' she grinned.

'No, Viv, it's okay.' Gerard said.

'I think that would be a good idea. Mikey could go work his ass off and we could like watch movies or do something fun! Who said Gerard-sitting can't be fun?'

Mikey looked at the over-enthusiastic Vivian. She seemed to be ok with everything that was happening. Who could blame her?; she was born empathic and she wasn't lacking positivity.

Meeting Mikey's eyes, Vivian's smile faded. 'That's if it's okay with you, Mikey.'

* * *

><p>Frank really wanted to know what the others were saying and what was going on. Why did this stupid mind thing only work on Gerard? Stupid weird mind thing he did not understand. Then he felt something cold touch his hand and then when he looked at it he realized it was snow. It was snowing everywhere around him.<p>

'What the fuck...?' he asked before he could stop himself and he just hoped Gerard didn't hear him.

* * *

><p>Gerard frowned. 'What..?'<p>

'I asked if it was a good idea.' Vivian said.

'No, I thought I heard something. Must've been the other room…'

'So, if Viv's plan works for you, it works for me. Whaddya say?' Mikey asked.

'Sure, whatever.' Gerard replied. 'As long as I'm out of this crazy place.'

* * *

><p>Frank let out a tiny sight of relief as he heard that Gerard thought it was something else and that he would finally get out of that place he was held in. He hoped that it really was a good idea they let him out. That he won't do something stupid.<p>

* * *

><p>'Okay, I'll let you rest for now.' Mikey said. 'If you need us, we'll be in the cafeteria down the road.' Vivian waved goodbye as she and Mikey walked out of the door, leaving Gerard all alone.<p>

Gerard threw himself back onto the pillow. He was bored like hell. There was nothing to do. It was a special room, with nothing inside it but a really soft bed and soft walls and floor. No TV, no books, no nothing. So he started humming an old lullaby, hoping it would put him to sleep.


	13. 13 The Ghost Of You

Frank heard Gerard humming. Gerard always had the best voice someone could ever hear. He sang like a God or even better and hearing Gerard hum made Frankie laugh quietly to himself hoping Gerard won't hear him. For Frank, Gerard was the perfect human being and hearing him hum again brought back a lot of happy memories of Gee.

'I love you' Frank heard himself say before he even realized and he quickly put his hand on his mouth regretting he just said something.

* * *

><p>Gerard stopped halfway through a note and frowned. He looked around the room. He was sure he heard someone. It might've been someone from another room. But his room was soundproof, and no sound could get in. He decided o ignore it and carried on humming.<p>

* * *

><p>Frank sighted again from relief. He needs to be careful and not try to say anything no matter how hard it seemed, he somehow knew it was for the greater good. He tried concentrating on Gerard's voice again not the memories it brought back...<p>

* * *

><p>Gerard got quickly bored of lying in bed so he got up and started walking around. The room was really small. He couldn't get out because there was no door handle on this side. People could only come in. He walked up to the window and knocked on it. A nurse turned.<p>

'I want to get out. This room feels stuffy.' He demanded.

'Sorry,' the nurse replied, 'the doctor said I can't let you out.'

'You don't know how bored I am, do you?'

'I can only imagine…'

* * *

><p>Frank tried to stop himself from laughing his head off as tiny sniggers escaped his mouth. Sure it wasn't that funny, but for Frank it was, but he still felt sympathy for Gerard. Being stuck somewhere and not being able to get out. It must be pretty boring there.<p>

Gerard frowned at the nurse. 'This really isn't funny.' He said, about the laughing he heard.

'Huh? I wasn't laughing.' She replied, confused.

Gerard turned all around to check if there was anyone else in the room. There was no one. 'Oh, sorry then.'

* * *

><p>Frank couldn't stop himself now and burst into fits of laughter with tears running down his eyes. Gee thought the nurse was laughing, yeah right! Frank slowly stopped laughing.<p>

* * *

><p>Gerard realized that it couldn't be the nurse laughing. She was a woman, and the laugh was of a man. He spun around once again, but again there was no one else in the room. He squinted at the window, but apart from the nurse there was no one there. He walked over to his bed.<p>

'Who's laughing?' he whispered to himself.

Frank stopped laughing immediately when he heard Gerard. Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck! Not this again. 'Uhh... Your biggest nightmare?' Frank said grinning. He needed some fun and he was sure Gerard won't mind.

Shocked at the reply, Gerard looked at the nurse, who was half sleeping at the window. No, it couldn't have been her. 'I've already lived my worst nightmare' he whispered. What was going on with him?

'That was just a joke Gee!' Frank chuckled. 'You didn't actually think I was serious, right?'

Gerard's eyes widened in shock. What the hell was going on? 'Wha-what?' he asked. He had no idea what answer he was going to get from a stupid question like that but he daren't say more.

This was getting a bit funny for Frank. Sure Gerard was confused and he will find out the truth. Later. 'I'll take that as a yes, shall I?'

Gerard was getting really freaked out by now. But at least he would kill time with this conversation. Then tomorrow he'd get back home and have a proper life. 'Take it as you want it.' he whispered quickly into the thin air.

Frank rolled his eyes. 'God, can't you even try to be funny?'

'I could try' he whispered. He seemed really shy, even to himself.

'Sure you can!' Frank laughed. 'And why are you so quiet?'

Gerard really didn't know what to reply. He was, after all, speaking to himself, but something told him he wasn't. 'I. I don't. Know.' he whispered again.

'Gee, be honest with me. Are you scared?' Frank wasn't sure if he wanted to know the answer to that, he really didn't.

'What? No! I'm not scared of anything!' he knew he sounded really childish right now_. Oh well_, he thought.

'Sure you're not!' Frank said in a very sarcastic tone 'Because I swear that the last time someone put a needle next to you, you started screaming like a four year old girl!'

Gerard frowned. Seriously, who was he talking to? Himself? Because if it really was him, he would've seen this line coming, but he was surprised when he heard it.

'Who are you? Are you a ghost of a mentalist's past?' he laughed at his own lame joke. Mentalist's past. There was no way anyone could've died here. But what if? Gerard shivered.

'Ghost of mentalist's past?' Frank burst out laughing. 'How awesome would that be? But seriously ghost of a mentalist past? That's the lamest joke you made up this year and you made a lot of lame jokes!'

Gerard felt really stupid and wanted to sink. He was being laughed at. By himself. Great. 'It. It wasn't supposed to be funny!' he whispered, still behaving like a child.

'It wasn't? Oh, stupid me.' Frank said in a joking manner. 'That really wasn't funny.' He said trying to mock with Gerard.

'Humph! If you're going to be like this then I'm not speaking to you!' he couldn't believe he just told himself that. How crazy!

'Aww! I totally didn't mean anything I said then! I'm sorry Gee! Don't ignore me! Pwease!' Frank said trying to sound as innocent as possible.

Gerard was getting a bit annoyed now. Why was the voice in his head so... Mean? 'Who are you? I just want to know...' he whispered, to himself but he also wanted the voice to hear him.

'As I told you, I am your biggest nightmare!' the voice replied, trying to sound as casually as possible. Then, he added 'But you can call me Frank'


	14. 14 Am I Losing Myself?

Gerard froze. His felt his heart drop and he felt really numb. Frank? How could it be Frank? He knew it couldn't be Frank, but it couldn't be his own mind because he surely would know what he was going to say. Frank? This was insanity.

'I made you quiet, didn't I?' Frank laughed slightly. 'Dammit, I knew I shouldn't have told you my name! I should have just made something up!'

Gerard looked at the picture of Frank. How could he be speaking to him? He took the photo in his hands and just stared at it.

'Gerard, what's wrong? Did I upset you? Do you want me to stop talking?' Frank asked worried. He now regrets everything he said before.

Gerard just stared at the picture. He couldn't be talking to Frank. It just didn't make sense. Maybe his mind was playing tricks on him. He just kept quiet hoping the craziness would pass.

'Okay, sorry, Gee! I'll just shut the fuck up and not bother you.' Frank mentally slapped himself for starting to talk to Gee in the first place.

'No! Don't! I'm. I just want to know. Are you. You really. Frank? he managed to say. He knew this was a stupid question since he was talking to himself, but he's done many stupid things in the past couple of weeks and didn't care.

'Yep. Frank Iero at your service.' Frank said happily as Gee didn't want him to shut up.

'But. Where are you? I can't see you. Are you just in my head?'

'Where am I? Good question. The only answer to that I can give is somewhere for dead people and yeah, I think I am in your head. Only you can hear me!'

'So you really are in my head! Just my imagination!' Gerard didn't know whether to be happy or sad. If Frank's in his head then that means he's not going crazy, but also it means he really is dead and gone and this brought tears into his eyes but he quickly wiped them.

Frank face palmed. 'I'm not your imagination. I'm real. I have no idea how it's possible were communicating, and I'm really not sure if it's a good thing!'

'So, wait. That dream I was having. Was it real?'

'What dream? I'm not telepathic, I really don't know what you dream about!'

'That dream... It wasn't a dream was it? We talked before...'

'Uh, yeah. We did.' Frank felt like laughing again and he didn't really know why. Nothing was funny.

'Oh shit! ShitshitshitshitSHIT!' he couldn't believe this. How was Frank even able to contact him? It didn't make sense. 'No, I didn't mean it that way. I meant "shit" as in '"whatthefuck I'm too happy but how are we talking"'

'Yeah, whatever Gee. Even if you mean it in a bad way I would understand, this thing isn't easy on you and yeah, I kinda regret this communication thing. Without it you could move on easier!' And Frank knew that while the communication talk thing works he would be unable to keep quiet.

'I don't regret this...' Gerard whispered sadly to himself but knew Frank would hear him anyway.

'And that's the thing... I don't know why! Okay, you get to talk to me but its harder to move on for you!'

'No, I wanna talk to you! I could talk to you forever but I know I might not move on. I don't care! As long as I speak to you!' He was talking to the photo in his hands. It seemed more realistic that way.

Frank let a small chuckle escape his mouth. 'I knew you would say something like that!' Sometimes Gerard was very easy to read without even looking at him.

'You stop laughing!' Gerard grinned. 'I miss you like hell!'

'But Gee, you're the funniest person ever, its impossible not to laugh! And miss you too, more then you can imagine!'

'I'm really not trying to be funny! Stop it!' Even though he tried to act serious he let out a tiny laugh. He was really happy that at least he still had contact with Frankie.

'Gee, even you know you're funny!' Frank just laughed again for the sake of maybe annoying Gee a little bit.

'Okay, so maybe I AM funny, but not as funny as this is right now!'

'This is funny?' Frank asked, trying to sound surprised.

'In a way...' Gerard thought Frank might've been offended by this. 'The fact that we're actually speaking... And other's think I'm going crazier!'

'Yeah... Maybe it is funny. And you can't go crazier then you already were Gee!' Frank said in a joking tone not realizing Gerard going serious.

Gerard looked down. He really WAS crazy a couple of days ago. Crazier than he might be right now. 'Yeah, I don't think I can.' he said in a hushed tone.

'Gee, what's wrong?' Frank asked realizing Gerard was sad now, he knew it was because of what he just said. Couldn't he do anything right? I guess not.

'Nothing!' Gerard quickly replied. 'Except from, you know…'

'Gerard, you are the worst liar in the history of liars! I know that but there's something else isn't there?'

'Yeah…'

'Could you please tell me?'

Gerard sighed. 'If the other time we spoke wasn't a dream, then I think you know…'

'Gee...' Frank didn't know what to say. He just wished Gerard would stop worrying.

Gerard just sat there, as tears were streaming down his face and onto the photograph of his best friend.

'Gerard, please don't cry.' Frank knew Gee was crying even though he couldn't see him. He knew Gerard too well.

_Fuck_, he thought as he tried to control himself, _you're a grown man, stop crying! Frankie doesnt want you to!_ He wiped his tears but more just kept coming out. 'What? No I'm not crying! I'm sorry!'

'I don't need to see you to know your crying... And its okay, anyone would cry in your place! But why are you sorry? You did nothing wrong!'

'I WASNT THERE FOR YOU WHEN YOU NEEDED ME MOST! IM SORRY!' Gerard carried on crying, but harder this time.

'Gee! Please don't blame yourself! It's not your fault! You can't blame yourself about something you couldn't stop! You did nothing wrong! Don't blame yourself about it please!'

Gerard just carried on weeping, not knowing whether or not speaking would be a good idea.

'Please don't cry! You did nothing wrong!' Frank wanted to hug and reassure Gerard but if he could they wouldn't be in this situation.

Gerard tried to stop crying and wiped his tears but it didn't really help. 'Maybe you don't think its wrong but to me I'm the reason you're... You're...' he couldn't finish with the awful word.

'But Gerard how is it your fault? It's my fault; I'm the one that made all the mistakes! You never did anything wrong!' Frank would do anything for Gee to be happy again and not cry.

'You made the mistakes 'cause of me! If I was still there for you we could still be talking, face to face at a party!'

'Gerard, I decided to leave, didn't I? You killed yourself because of that but luckily they brought you back! I was the one that got wasted! Nothing is your fault!'

Gerard whispered. 'I just wish the doctors were too late...'


	15. 15 What's The Worst Thing I Can Say?

'GERARD HOW COULD YOU FUCKING SAY THAT?' Frank exclaimed. He couldn't believe Gerard could be so wrong. 'THAT'S THE BIGGEST BULSHIT EVER!'

Gerard dropped his head. 'I wouldn't be suffering here then. I wish the doctors came to you on time. But, fuck, they did not!'

'But we'll meet again when your time comes! And it's not now! The doctors, you can't blame them...' Frank said, hoping Gerard would understand the emotion in his voice when he said it.

'Thing is, you won't stay there forever! Once you're buried, you'll move on to heaven! And heaven... I don't deserve it.'

'Yeah but that will take some time, right? And Gerard you deserve heaven more than anyone! Don't think like that, your perfect in every way and you DO deserve heaven!'

Gerard sighed. He just wanted to have Frank by his side. Things would be so much easier then. 'Heaven wouldn't want me, and neither would hell.' He whispered. 'Come back, will you?' He knew that wasn't possible but maybe if he said it more then he would come back.

'Heaven would want you but hell would not! And, Gerard, I would love to, I really would, but I can't come back... If I could I would!'

'You always taught me that if you want something bad enough you get it in the end... But I guess it's past the end, isn't it?'

'It's never past the end... It's still not the end! It may never be the end.' Frank wanted to reassure Gerard but he has no idea how.

'The end… What is 'the end' anyways? It doesn't seem like 'the end' to you 'cause you're still 'there' but to me 'the end' is loss...'

'But what did you lose?'

'Everything I've ever loved.' Gerard paused, and then added 'You.'

'You didn't lose me and you never will! I may be dead but my heart and soul will always be with you so you can never lose me!'

Gerard knew this was true. But he didn't think this kind of presence was enough. But he really liked that Frank knew that he will forever stay in his heart. 'Yeah... You're right.'

Frank smiled; at least he managed to say one good thing to Gerard.

'Wanna know something?' Gerard asked, changing the subject. 'Viv and Mikey are gonna be babysitting me when I'm released!'

Frank burst out laughing. 'I bet it will be fun! Very fun!'

'That's exactly what Viv said!' Gerard replied cheerfully. Frank's laugh was the best thing he's ever heard. 'Oh, great! Viv and fun is disastrous!'

That made Frank laugh even more and tears of happiness were falling down his cheeks. 'I hope you will enjoy it! I bet it will! I wonder what she will think of!'

'Imagine she sets the tree on fire again! That would be really fun! To her. Poor Planty...' Gerard giggled.

'Yeah! Haha! But that tree was evil anyway! It deserved it! Imagine if this time she sets the house on fire!' Frank said trying to control the laughing.

Gerard laughed out loud and could feel the nurse's glare. 'Imagine that! This girl is unpredictable!' he said hushing himself.

'I think it will be you looking after her not her looking after you.' Frank was enjoying this. It felt normal, like the old times.

'Kay, I'll prepare the hospital for her!' Gerard loved making Frank laugh. Even though he missed him lots, hearing him laugh is better than crying in a corner.

'Yeah! I wonder how Mikey keeps her in line... Hmm... You should get some tips from him Gee!'

'I think he just keeps her tied up! But I'll ask him how he manages to tie her up in the first place!'

'Wow, Mikey must be strong minded to even survive. I think it's a bit obvious why he spends so much time at work!'

'Yup! Poor Mikey, when he comes home and sees her up and about, blasting music and staying up till dawn...'

'Poor Mikey' Frank agreed and sighted, remembering that he never will be able to talk to Mikey or Viv. That he can't see Gerard's face. That he will never feel Gerard's perfectly smooth skin, never feel his perfect lips again. He held back a tear. He wanted to do so many things, and he will never be able to play guitar again. Yep, death sucks!

Gerard noticed how Frank's voice dropped in tone when he said it. He wasn't sure what was wrong; Frank seemed perfectly happy just a second ago. But he daren't ask him. He didn't want to stick his nose into a spirit's business. 'We've been talking for a time now, haven't we?' he said, changing the subject. 'It seems like a minute, but the clock says 50!'

_Think happy motherfucking thoughts__,_ Frank told himself but he couldn't. For Gerard's sake he tried sounding happy. 'Yeah.' He didn't even remember how long a minute lasted so he had no idea how long 50 minutes were anymore. 'That seems like... A lot?' He made a random guess.

'A lot? Yeah, pretty much!'

At least he made a good guess, right? That must count as something. Gerard didn't understand how lucky he was to be alive, to be brought back two times. Gerard was very lucky to be alive and he didn't appreciate that! Frank couldn't believe that.

'Frankie? You there?' that was a stupid question, but still, he had to ask.

Frank didn't hear Gerard as his mind was replying his death and the times when he was alive and Gerard's skin and his touch. And leaving Gerard... Then taking the pills. 'Stupid motherfucking death pills…' Frank mumbled to himself, forgetting Gerard could hear him.


	16. 16 If I Were Here Youd Never Have A Fear

Gerard froze and stared at the wall, shocked. 'Death pills? What death pills?'

_Oh shit! Shit__, shit, shit!_ Frank had no idea what to say. 'Uhhh, what are you talking about?' Frank said pretending he had no idea what Gerard was talking about. The pills he was taking killed him, thus the name "death pills".

'Don't act dumb, Frank! What death pills?' Gerard knew exactly what Frank was doing, and what he's done but he needed him to confess.

Plan A failed and there was no plan B so he might as well stick to plan A. 'I have no idea what you're talking about, Gerard!'

'Yes you do! You better tell me about those death pills!' he was angry now. Death pills? Why would Frank even think that?

'What? Tell you what? There's nothing to tell!' Frank didn't understand why Gerard was making a big thing out of this, what's done is done.

'Oh, seriously? You're gonna pretend you never said anything? Fine! I'll be seeing you shortly.' Gerard threatened.

'What? GERARD! NO! DONT YOU FUCKING DARE GERARD!' How could Gerard say that! Fuck! What happened happened!

'DONT YOU FUCKING LIE TO ME! JUST TELL ME WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!' Gerard was furious now. Why was Frank denying it? He was dead, it's not like anything could hurt him if he just came clean.

'I FUCKING DIED! HAPPY? YOU GOT YOUR FUCKING ANWSER!' Frank knew he shouldn't have snapped like that but why was Gerard making a scene out of this?

'HAPPY? WHY WOULD I EVER BE HAPPY?' he was shouting, and he knew the nurse would run in anytime now so he lowered his voice. 'Why, Frankie? Why?' he asked through his teeth.

'BECAUSE I LEFT YOU AND COULDN'T SURVIVE IT BECAUSE I MESSED EVERYTHING UP BECAUSE IT WAS THE FIRST THING THAT CAME TO MY HEAD BECAUSE NOBODY GAVE A FUCK!' Frank kept shouting and he could find a lot more reasons but that doesn't mean he didn't regret it, he regrets his actions a lot.

Gerard couldn't believe what he was hearing. Nobody gave a fuck? Is he a nobody? Of course he cared for Frank. But they couldn't see each other and that's why it ended up the way it did. 'Fuck, fuck, fuck!' he punched his lap. 'FRANK YOU LISTEN TO ME! I ALWAYS TOLD YOU THAT I'D BE THERE IF YOU NEEDED ME! AND NOW WHAT? I WASNT!' he wanted to hit something right now. Something hard that would leave him in pain but the room had no such objects.

'SURE! AND NOW YOU'RE CLASSIC BLAMING YOURSELF AS IF YOU DID SOMETHING WRONG! FUCK IT! FUCK EVERYTHING!' This was the first time Frank wished there was alcohol or drugs here. But there was nothing like that here.

'THAT'S 'CAUSE I DID! I WASNT THERE TO SUPPORT YOU! I WASNT THERE TO STOP YOU! I WAS ONLY THERE WHEN IT WAS TOO LATE!' he knew he was shouting again, but this time he didn't care. He had to get his point across even if it meant being still kept here till the end.

'AND? IM DEAD BECAUSE OF MY OWN ACTIONS! BECAUSE OF SOMETHING I DID AND NOW YOU'RE BLAMING YOURSELF FOR IT!' Frank was VERY annoyed and angry; how could Gerard blame himself for what he couldn't stop. How messed up was that? Could Gerard for once stop blaming himself? He never did anything wrong.

Just as Gerard opened his mouth to shout, the nurse ran in. She looked at Gerard and the picture he was holding.


	17. 17 Noone Call The Nurse

**Hya guys!**

**Thing is, I'm going on holiday, so you won't be hearing from me for a long time. Read, review, subscribe, whatever. I wanna know if this story is good enough.**

**- KenZ xoxo**

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><p>'Everything alright?' the nurse asked.<p>

'There's no right answer to this question, is there?' Gerard replied, still looking down at the photo. Tears were streaming down his face like tiny rivers and onto the photo frame. He wanted the nurse to leave him. Or better yet, to let him out and forget he ever existed.

* * *

><p>Frank figured someone had entered the room and that stopped Gerard from shouting. He felt a small relief when he remembered where Gerard was and he was unable to harm himself which Gerard would probably want to do. He sighted and wondered if this communication thing had brought any good.<p>

* * *

><p>The nurse hesitated for a moment but then walked up to Gerard and sat by him.<p>

'What do you mean?' she asked in a calming voice.

Gerard clenched his fists. What he meant was if he answered 'yes, I'm ok' that would be a lie, and apparently he's a very bad liar. But if he said 'no, I'm not ok' she would ask why, and its not like she would actually care enough to pay attention to his long story.

Hearing no reply, the nurse looked at the picture Gerard held. Se reached for it but Gerard quickly took it away.

'Oh! Sorry. May I know who this is?'

Gerard cried even more. Describing who Frank WAS was the second hardest thing in his life. He WAS alive. But now, he IS... dead.

The nurse sensed something was wrong with her question. She wished she never asked. She knew Gerard was going to burst any second. 'Sorry. I'm sorry, I shouldn't have...'

'Don't apologize, I get that too much.' Gerard tried sounding calm, but his tears showed otherwise.

* * *

><p>Frank had no idea what was going on there but he really wanted to know; all he knew was that Gee was talking to somebody and that he was crying. Frank felt as if he needed to break the silence even though Gerard can't reply. 'Gee, please, don't cry! Everything will be alright even if it doesn't seem like that now!' Frank tried saying it in a comforting way.<p>

* * *

><p>'Do you want to talk?' the nurse asked.<p>

'No.' Gerard replied, to both the nurse and Frank.

* * *

><p>'Gee! Please! Look at the good side of things! Don't be sad! There's nothing to be sad about!' Frank said, trying his best to comfort Gerard.<p>

* * *

><p>'Well, if there's anything you want to talk about, I'll be behind that window,' the nurse said as she pointed to the window she was watching him from, 'for another hour or so before my shift is over.'<p>

'There is none!' Gerard said to the two of them again, but then realized he didn't make sense to the nurse. 'Nothing, I meant.'

* * *

><p>'Gerard there always is something, even when bad things happen there always is a good thing. Always, no matter how hard it is to find that good thing!' Frank didn't really understand what he was saying but he knew he meant it.<p>

* * *

><p>'But if there is, one tiny thing, you can always...' the nurse started.<p>

'Try naming that one thing.' he replied to them both, but seemed rude because he interrupted the nurse but he really just talked to Frank ignoring the nurse's last words. 'Sorry…' he told her.

* * *

><p>'Okay, I will! The fact that we'll always be in contact now unlike before!' Frank tried thinking of more good things but he couldn't. But at least he managed to think of one thing.<p>

* * *

><p>'It's okay.' The nurse said as she walked out-<p>

Gerard waited until she was out of sight. 'BUT THEN THEY'LL BURY YOU! And then what?' he tried to whisper to Frank.

'Gerard, that might take a long time! A very long time!' Frank said this knowing it's a lie; that stuff never lasts long. He wished that somehow they could bring him back.

Gerard sighed. 'They said they'll do it as soon as I'm out…'

'Gerard, you're joking right? Can't you stop them?' Frank panicked.

'Stop them? How the fuck am I meant to do that? I can't just steal your dead self...' his voice faded. Just the thought of doing anything to Frankie's dead body made him sick.

'Can't you? Can't you do anything? Please! I don't want to leave you!'

'I could... But you wouldn't like it! And it might not work...'

'I don't care what you do Gerard! I just want to stay with you no matter what cost!'

'But... You won't like it! I'm thinking of staying in this mental hospital for longer...'

'Don't fucking do that! Don't you fucking dare, Gerard!' Frank warned. Why would Gerard even think that?

'I told you! I can't think of anything else though!'

'Can't you make them not do it? Stop them?'

'They already think I'm crazy! I don't know how I can stop them!'

'Can't you persuade them or something? Anything that wont cause you harm?'

'Persuade them to do what exactly? Leave your body in the hospital forever?'

'No, well that would be a good idea but impossible... But to not bury me...' Frank sighed. 'I don't want to leave you Gee!' he whispered. 'Are you sure that you can't stop them?'

'I will try my best. I want you to stay, wherever you are now. I could... Do something, I don't know, but no matter what kind of bullshit it is, I'll do it.'

'Just please promise me that you won't do anything stupid Gee! Promise that you won't do anything that will be bad!'

Gerard hesitated. All his ideas so far were stupid. He couldn't promise Frank that. But then again, he could always come up with better ideas. 'I promise.' He said.

'Good!' Frank let out a sight of relief because Gerard mostly kept his promises.


End file.
